Nick's Blog
Blog...FROM THE FUTUR!
04/7/2008 @ 15:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GREETINGS FROM THE FUTUR MY FRIENDS!
Yes, it's finally arrived; the 21st Century we were all promised back in the 60s and 70s. For 8 years now we've been living in 1975 but with the internet, mobile phones and health and safety legislation to differentiate now and then. So far the gleaming visions of sci fi writers and the artists of those Look and Learn books about what life would be like in the 21st Century have failed to come to pass. But now...we're living in that promised world! OK, so we don't yet have an orbiting hotel, daily trips to the Moon, personal jet packs, pill food, silver jumpsuits or instant guilt free sex on demand but we do now have Oxygen bars!
I was walking through my local shopping centre last week when I saw a small stand selling what I thought was trendy fruit juice by some glamourosly dressed girls but no, it turned out that what they were selling was pure oxygen at £5 a huff. People were sitting on futuristic bar stools with what looked like medical breathing tubes in their nostrils just...breathing there...and with a choice of 5 different coloured waters for the oxygen to pass through (as it's very dry to breathe pure oxygen, they've passed it through coloured water to moisten it up).
At last, that future of living in a vast, bland, sterilised dome where people slowly wander around in a stupefied state, far removed from the overlords that watch over them them on little cameras, populated by miniskirted girls and old people in electric buggies and having to queue up to pay to breathe air from a booth has come to pass. And the Earth didn't need to suffer some nuclear holocaust first to achieve this vision; they just built a shopping centre instead.
But although I was tempted for a nanosecond to partake in a light lunch of orange oxygen followed by a bit of Nitrogen for pudding, I resisted. Mainly because there's nothing for you to do but sit there and breathe. The customers at the booth having their mid-morning oxy-huff weren't reading a book, or having a chat or a catch up like how people in coffee shops behave...they were just sitting there, blank faces, breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Out. CHOKE! GAK! IIIINNNN. And out. Just breathe at £5 a go. Mmmmmm, doesn't it feel good to be living in the future?
As for me, I'll make do with good ol' 20% in the air thank you. Goodness, I've become like one of those people who order tap water in restuarants.
