Nick's Blog
So I was like...blog?
29/8/2007 @ 11:05
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Ngah! If I've heard too much of anything recently it's stupid teenagers using the phrase "I was like" instead of "I said".
LISTEN UP, NUMPTYS...YOU CAN'T BE "WAS LIKE" SOMETHING UNLESS YOU ARE COMPARING IT TO ANOTHER THING.
So you can say "I was like Jeff, when he was at that party" because you are comparing yourself to another person in another situation that has some similarities. Just saying "I was like, 'no way'" doesn't make sense because where's the comparison? Unless you're doing a particularly lacklustre impersonation....of yourself. You might have a case to say "I was like..." if you accompany the statement with the tone of voice and hand gestures that you used. But unless you were chewing gum, rolling your eyes around with a mixture of self-pity and incomprehension and sitting on your ass at the time, then the correct phrase is "I said". This also applies to the person you're speaking about: If he was like... then you need to do an impression of him otherwise you're just talking bollocks.
Mind you, those teenagers who do take the time to say "I was like, huh?" are a marginal step up from those who say "I'm like, yah" because at least they bothered to get the tense right. The "I'm like, no way" crowd are talking about the past as if it's the present. If "he's like, way" then HE IS SAYING IT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW not yesterday. Numpty. I blame TV historians (and I'm looking at you, Baigent) who insist on talking about past events in the present tense because, you know, the kids will relate to it better. You know the patter "Eisenhower has a cruicial decision to make...he phones Patton, who says he's ready to go..." If academics can't be bothered to use the correct tense, then why should anyone else?
On the subject of grammar...Zachary Quinto, the new Mr. Spock in the next Star Trek movie, has said he hasn't seen a lot of Star Trek and hasn't "emerged himself in Leonard Nimoy's performance". Hello? EMERGED HIMSELF? He's got a lot of work to do if he's to play the Vulcan Spock.
And have you noticed how sports journalists are now saying things like "Rafael Nadal in his defeat to Roger Federer"? Defeat to? No, I didn't hear that he was defeated to...I heard he was defeated BY Federer. You lose to, you get defeated by. Numptys, numptys, numptys!
Now the right on liberals will say that our language is evolving...but that just shows them to be gramatically ignorant as well. Evolution means to change to a higher state. You evolve upwards so if language was to evolve, it would be able to convey more complex and meaningful information in a more efficient way. Can "I was like", "defeated to" and "emerging myself" be called evolution? No, the correct word is devolution. Language is getting more incoherant and about face...it is not conveying more information and meaning in an efficient way...it is leading to gibberish. That is not progress therefore it is not evolution. Pretty soon you'll hear conversations like this:
"Ug see woman...woman nice...ug ask woman for drink...and she was like 'me thirsty'".
Blog in Peace
27/8/2007 @ 11:51
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I've just got back from a nice holiday in Devon. I really do like it down there and it was nice to get away from all the work pressures that had been building up over the previous weeks.
I'm not going to go into one of my rants or surreal stories this time, instead something strange and profound happened on the last day of the trip which I'd like to share here because it was so unusual.
Wifey and I were on a short walk around the wonderfully named Wimbleball Lake and the hamlet of Withiel Florey in Exmoor. The walk was through fields and woods and we didn't meet anyone else on the trails either. Everything was very peaceful and tranquil; lovely English countryside in high summer. When we got to Withiel Florey, we stopped and visited the church there...the village only has about 5 buildings in it and it is very much tucked away from any major roads or towns.
When we walked through the church graveyard I stopped; stunned by what I saw....it was the grave of someone I knew at school. His name was Alexander Ricketts and he was in my form class at primary school. I heard a few years ago that he died on a party boat in the Thames river back in 1989 when it was struck by a barge and it saddened me at the time but now I was here in this tiny community, which we decided to visit really at the last minute, and seeing his grave all completely by chance.
I can't say that Alex was a close friend at school; I was never in his gang or anything like that but due to the nature of our school not having a proper playground our class tended to hang out together in our form room a lot and so we bonded as a single unit of 20 boys, despite the arguments, name callings and beatings. Alex and I were in the school drama club and if anyone threw a party, then the whole class would go en masse. So if we weren't all bosom buddies, you got to feel like part of an extended family because of the familiarity day in and day out for 3 years.
Seeing Alex's grave brought back a lot of memories and seeing that he died so young, a week after he had turned 22, I could only think that he was probably celebrating graduation and his birthday at the same time. At the point where he was celebrating his whole life and career to come, it was snatched away from him.
I had a mixture of emotions that day: I wasn't overwhelmed with grief because I hadn't seen him since we were 12 and I did know he had died beforehand. I wasn't shocked into realising my own mortality either...I feel too healthy and not quite old enough to be that moribund either. I wasn't indifferent, that much was certain. What I wanted at that moment was to meet one of his family in the village and pay my respects, but that didn't happen. But I did feel strange, like I was in a chain of seemingly random occurances that had led to that point. A walk chosen at random to round off a holiday, a village far off the beaten path and the burial of an old school friend who I didn't realise had connections with that part of the world.
Maybe that was the point...his grave is far off the path and undisturbed by visitors. Maybe it was time for an old familiar face to pop by and say hello. Alex was an outgoing guy and he would have appreciated that.
Orthoblogtic
16/8/2007 @ 16:35
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Ouch
Hurt my shoulder this morning by...erm, just standing around on the tube. That's it, I can't figure out any other way I could have hurt it. I went into town by tube to deliver something and...suddenly my shoulder was hurting.
My left arm currently hangs loose and gnarled like Davros' hand in Dr. Who.....only I don't have instant death at the flick of a switch like he does.
I'm meant to be mowing the lawn and packing my suitcases for our trip to Devon starting tomorrow...that ain't happening. If Wifey shoots me a reproachful look, I'll just go all puppy eyed, look to my shoulder (well, as best I can seeing that I can't move my neck either) and whimper until she's doing everything by herself. Bwa ha ha, I'm so cunning...oooh, I shouldn't laugh, it really hurts!
What Are Little Blogs Made Of?
08/8/2007 @ 16:49
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Today was a day of creepy little girls.
I was on the tube and there was a little girl, with her mother, sitting across from me. The girl, on the surface all sweetness in her pink frock and pigtails, had this blank, fixed expression on her face the whole journey. Her head was inclined at a slight angle and she didn't blink, didn't seem to breathe and didn't move....and she was staring in my direction. I can't be sure if she was staring at me, or just past me, which is a bit unnerving if you ever meet people who look just beyond you. It was all very Stephen King with this little 6 year old just staring and not moving the whole time. I looked down at the book I was reading but had this uncomfortable feeling like I was being watched. I looked up and sure enough there she was, immobile and staring. Eugh! It was creepy. She was alive because once I did notice her blink but surely her mother must realise she's raising one of the twins from "The Shining".
Later on a bus, there was a little girl waxing lyrically to her mother about the Great Fire of London. What was disturbing was the glee and relish in which she described the biggest conflagration in London's history:
"And the fire swept up EVERYTHING! And all the shops and houses were NO MORE! And it all got BURNED DOWN! And people were running around ON FIRE! And nothing was LEFT STANDING! And we built our own houses out of paper and then we had to KNOCK THEM DOWN to show they were BURNED TO A CRISP! And even my house was DESTROYED! But so was EVERYONE ELSES!"
The mother was smiling and going "ooh, that sounds nice dear, you did learn a lot today". I hope for her sake they have an electric and not a gas cooker at home. Maybe Fire Girl and Staring Girl could get together and wreak evil?
Blog to school
06/8/2007 @ 17:33
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It's the high summer, the weather's fine, everyone is having fun, people are enjoying their summer holidays and yet there are always two dark clouds that loom in the middle of summer:
1. The ever earlier starts to the football season; as the mighty corporate machine swallows up the traditional summer sports of cricket and tennis. Football should NOT start until September.
2. The phrase that strikes terror into every child in the country...BACK TO SCHOOL SALE.
It's horrid for a child to finally get out of school for the academic year, to put the drudge of work, the day in day out wearing of uniforms, the early starts, homework, school bullies, getting picked last for sports teams and the sarcasm of teachers only to be confronted by the BACK TO SCHOOL SALE signs in shops reminding them that they have to go through the whole drudge again...and soon. I think kids need to take the time off from even THINKING about going back to school, to draw a line under the studies for one year and enjoy a few weeks of relaxation without having to think about education. That way they'll be fresher when they do go back.
I overheard one poor boy the other day seeing one of those signs and saying "Mummy, what do they mean, back to school? I don't have to go back now, do I? I want my holiday! I don't want to go back now!" The wretched boy was terrified and I don't blame him. Now he'll be counting the days, nay the minutes even, before going back.
Thank you Marks and bloody Spencers! Thank you John "bastard" Lewis! Thank you Clarks "it may be the summer but do stock up on ugly black leather shoes for school!" shoe stores. Maybe you can tell the kids of the world there's no Santa Claus this Christmas.
Rushed off my blog
04/8/2007 @ 11:24
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Phew! It's been a very busy week; getting together the auditions for the next Rhubba sketch. I haven't had much time to put up a blog or to take the time to observe some irritation in the world that I can rant about.
Things are going well as a whole; I do tend to fret and worry about every minor detail when it comes to filming whereas in fact things are probably under control. Probably....Probably...PROBABLY! That's it! I can't leave anything to chance! I must go and check on EVERYTHING!
