Nick's Blog
Britannia Rules The Blogs
25/3/2008 @ 14:43
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Just before the Easter weekend, I was out looking for a book to buy for my father in law. Alas, there was nothing which I thought would appeal to him...as it turned out, barely anything in the shops appealed to me either.
One of the main problems is that most of the factual books were so depressing! In the history section, there were books on how awful it was to live in the Middle Ages, how awful it was to live in the 18th Century, how awful it was to live in the Victorian era, the Edwardian era, the First World War, after the First World War, the Second World War, after the Second World War, the 50s, the 60s, the 70s and most of the 80s. Oh, and how awful it was to live in Britain in particular.
Moving on to the science and technology section, there was stuff on global warming, the upcoming ice age, the end of the Sun, the destruction of the planet by an asteroid and how all science and engineering has been faked over the centuries and why we've all been duped.
Moving on to Travel and The World. There are books on why British holidays are crap, why European holidays are crap, why travelling to the Far East is crap, South America; Crap and North America...don't bother. Oh, and why holidaying in Britain is really, REALLY crap.
For every subject, there's a book telling you how crap it all is: Want a history of your town? You'll find it in the "Why Your Town Is Crap" books that litter the Geography section. Like movies? Then you'll want "The Worst Movies Ever Made" books on offer, or the "Love this particular movie series? Well here's a book that rips it to pieces". Music? Then look no further than "The Worst Albums" or "The Worst Album Covers" or "The Worst Bands Ever!" books in hardback with lots of glossy photos of your favourite bands and singers looking particularly rubbish.
And there, among the books making me feel rubbish for being alive, was the crowning achievement of post modernist loathing: "The Evil Empire: 101 Ways England Ruined The World" by Stephen Grasse. Mr. Grasse is a marketing man and self educated amateur historian who postulates the theory that Britain is responsible for all the worlds' troubles and that we have to pay over 31 trillion in damages to every person on the planet. I'm not sure that Britain has 31 trillion in its account. Great. I was appauled that such a book would grace the shelves of a major book store but then there was a ray of hope...a small thing that made me smile.
We are a big enough and free enough country to stock such books saying that everything we do and are is crap. We are free to sell such nonsense...and free not to purchase it either.
Affordable Swedish Blog
18/3/2008 @ 16:54
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So sorry I haven't posted anything on my blog in the last few weeks...the month is already halfway gone and nada. Sorry; this has been due to a combination of constant work and chores I have to do before the arrival of Spawn of Nick.
One of those chores was to do a pilgramage to IKEA. It's what you do when you're a couple or a student in rented accomodation. I won't bore you with tales of bookcases and furnishings, but instead I will talk to you about labelling.
We bought a blanket, one of the ones you use to throw over a sofa or chair. The wrapping was weird though; as it explained it was made of Polyester in 18 different languages. You might not think that's weird in itself. What is weird is that the word Polyester is the same in practically every language in Europe.
ENGLISH: Polyester.
DEUTSCH: Polyester.
FRANCAIS: Polyester.
NEDERLANDS: Polyester.
ITALIANO: Poliestere. Ooh, a bit different there. But phonetically it's exactly the same. The same goes for:
ESPANOL: Poliester.
PORTUGUES: Poliester. Wait a minute, that too is exactly the same as Espanol!
SVENSKA: Polyester. Ah, back to the normal spelling. The same goes for Dansk, Norsk, Suomi (that's Finnish to you), Polski, Cesky and Slovensky. Only when we get to Magyar (Hungarian) do we get the off beat Polieszter.
So IKEA covered all its bases and informed the European public that their product was made from Polyester, used up all that ink and packaging to tell a diverse linguistic group the same word that is translated and spelt exactly the same way in most countries, with just one or two letters different in the rest. If I was Hungarian and saw the word "Polyester" on some packaging for a blanket, I would hazard a pretty good guess that what it was made of was in fact Polieszter. I think most people could make that mental leap. But no, Ikea covered their bases just in case. It's only by paying careful attention to the very fine details that has made them the market leader.
I wonder if they spell Dacron the same way?
